Donkey Kong 3

Dear Miyamoto,

Why is “Donkey Kong 3” a vertical shooter in which you launch bug spray up Donkey Kong’s butt? I understand you and your friends were in love with changing up modes of play between sequels, but “The Adventures of Link” still had you searching for the right route and fending off foes with a sword and both “Mario 2” titles had you jumping on enemies and using unconventional items to move to the right side of the screen. What’s most puzzling, sir, is that it’s more enjoyable than “Donkey Kong. Jr.” in every regard, so, WHY?

Love, Downey

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