Paddington 2

“Oh, hey, it’s that one film from a couple of years back that was beloved by all the critics, I’ve been meaning to catch this one. I don’t know if it’ll be to my tastes, but I’m sure, at the very least, it will be a well-made film.”

(ninety-something magical minutes later)

“I AM RIDE OR DIE FOR THE KING THAT IS PADDINGTON BROWN HE IS THE ONE TRULY GLORIOUS THING ON THIS HIDEOUS PLANET ALL BOW BEFORE OUR NEW GOD I SAID BOW HEATHENS” (psychic firecrackers shoot out from the back of my skull, illuminating the starless night sky)

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